KYUUBI RULES TO LIVE BY
by AyumiFallassion
Summary: What does the Sanbi have to do with anything? Why are razors and glue banned? Why do oil, matches and ninja make a bad combination? And what is up with the sheep! When it comes to Kyuubi and Naruto, anything is possible! Companion to Fox Leaves.
1. Rule 1

Because my friends have been asking for these. The PRANK RULES and the KYUUBI RULES TO LIVE BY. I decided to have some fun, and put them to the stories that inspired them. Some will be longer than others, some will be shorter. However, all of them will be funny.

Description: It's a rare thing for a human to live with a demon. Even rarer is when the human is only a child. As they get to know each other, what happened to make Kyuubi create the Prank Rules and the Rules to Live By? What did the Sanbi have to do anything? What's the story behind the oil and matches? Why are razors and glue banned from the house? And what's up with the sheep?! Let's just say that life will never be the same for these two again!

Merry Christmas People!

Disclaimer: I'M BROKE PEOPLE!

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KYUUBI RULES TO LIVE BY

RULE NUMBER ONE:

Kyuubi had a hard time believing what was before his eyes. He'd only stepped out to do a quick run around his territory. How in the world could one small three-year-old human do this much damage in under an hour?! The rice flour was all over the walls and floor, and water made it a sticky gluey mess in areas. Chopped vegetables were strewn about the room, curry had boiled over and was a congealed mess on the floor and stove, a bottle of cooking oil was missing, and cooked and uncooked rice were stuck to the walls and the ceiling. _'Wonder how it got all the way up there,'_ he mused angrily. _'And... is that nori up there?'_ he thought as he looked up at a random blob of green on the ceiling. Even as he stared, his Hitodama were starting to pick themselves up, and were starting to clean up the kitchen.

The fox took a deep breath before turning and storming out after his ward. This wasn't the first area the little human had hit that day. The bathroom was a small lake of water and soap, and only the quick work of the Hitodama had saved the wooden floors from warping. Paints had been splashed on the walls, including what seemed to be finger-drawn portraits of Kyuubi and Nibi. Two more of the little sprites were leaning those off, including the little sand-colored sprite that technically belonged to Shukaku.

Looking at the little spirit, the fox made a mental note to thank the creature and feed it again as he stormed down the hallway. Hitodama were spirits created by the Bijuu, and as such, had to be fed, or recharged periodically. Kyuubi wasn't responsible for the little sand-colored flame, but he was the best chance they had of finding Shukaku, so every now and then, the fox would offer a little youki to sustain the creature.

Turning a corner, the demon yelped suddenly as his feet tried to fly out from underneath him. Clawed fingers dug into the wall as he steadied himself, only to groan as he looked down to find a broken bottle. _'Well, now I know where that cooking oil went,'_ he thought in annoyance as he carefully picked his way around the slick mess.

Angry now, the fox turned the corner and threw open the sliding door to Naruto's room. The little boy was sitting on his floor, paints spread about him, and his walls covered in more 'paintings.' Immediately, large blue eyes turned up at the fox, pleading pitifully for love and mercy. A lip pulled out and trembled as the child sniffled a little.

Kyuubi growled high in his throat as he picked the boy up by the back of his stained haori. "The cute look no longer works. You're helping to clean up this mess!" he ordered, carrying the boy out into the hall. One of the Hitodama floated over with a rag and bucket as he placed the boy down in front of the slick of oil. "And you can start with this!"

KYUUBI RULE NUMBER ONE:

THE CUTE LOOK NO LONGER WORKS

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There will be MANY more of these later! I just wanted to post this as a Christmas present for all my Fox Leaves Fans. The next chapter for Fox Leaves is being worked on, and should be posted shortly.

Hope you enjoyed this!


	2. Prank rule and Rule 2

I LIVE!!

Yes, contray to popular believe, I'm not dead! Neither has Fox Leaves been abandoned. The laptop that had the new chapter has crashed again, and the only copy is on that one. Luckily, it can be recovered as soon as the problem is fixed, so I ask that everyone be patient with me.

Till then, I bring you Rule 2, and Prank Rule 1.

Disclaimer: I'm a woman. Therefor, I could not be Kishimoto, (The teasing B#$rd,) and could not own Naruto.

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KYUUBI RULE #2

"Interesting look Naruto."

"Dat's not fair! You cheated Tousan!"

"And how did I do such a thing?"

Naruto pouted as a shiver traveled down his spine, following a large drop of dye. Kyuubi smirked at the boy. It had actually been an elegantly simple trap for a three-year old human. A simple pulley simple that would deliver a payload of green dye as soon as the fox slid his door open. Sadly, the little human was three-thousand years too young to catch the fox off guard with such a simple trap. A few illusions, and the boy walked into his own prank.

The fox gave a small laugh as he watched a drop of green roll down his nose to plop into his haori. "I may teach you those illusions when you grow older. Maybe when you reach ten." He smirked a little wider as he leaned over to look the boy in the eye. "And may I give you an advice? It is only considered cheating if you are caught cheating." he turned him around and pushed him towards the bath room. "Now go clean yourself before you stain the rest of you hair and skin."

As Naruto stomped towards the tubs, he mentally added a rule to a personal list of his own; Prank the Kyuubi and die.

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KYUUBI RULE #2

IT IS ONLY CHEATING IF YOU GET CAUGHT.

NARUTO PRANK RULE #1:

PRANK THE KYUUBI AND _DIE_.

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	3. OMAKE: SHRINE TO THE SHARK

Just something to tide you over until the next chapter comes out. And I promise, I am working on it.

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.

OMAKE: SHRINE TO THE SANBI

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Tazuna glanced cautiously over his shoulder as he kneeled on the sandy ground. He was a few miles out from the village, close to where the grave markers had been placed for Zabuza and his young companion. There was nothing in those graves though, only Zabuza's sword had been found, and was planted in between the markers.

The nuke-nin however, were not the reason Tazuna had stolen out of his home like a thief in the night. Dark eyes focused on the shrine he had set up just above the high-tide line, where he had been offering tribute to the strange creatures that had helped to save his village that horrible day on the bridge. Lately, the offering had been going missing, and he was hopeful that tonight, he might s something.

He took a deep breath before arranging the offering in the shrine, some of the best fish the island had to offer, and a bottle of sake form his own stash. He clapped his hands twice in order to call the attention of the gods, before bowing his head in prayer.

He didn't know how long he had been waiting there, kneeling before the shrine, before a flash of light penetrated his lids. He opened his eyes with a start, only to yelp and fall back at the sight of flame bobbing in front of his nose. A pair whirled around the first, a flurry of blues and green dancing in front of him. Only for them to part and drift around a tall form standing of the shore.

Tazuna yelped again before throwing himself onto the ground, prostrating himself before the demon. The brief glance had confirmed that this was the one who had walked on the waves, proclaiming Gatou's life as forfeit for his crimes against Wave. Now that he was in front of the creature, his carefully planned speech became naught but ash on his tongue.

A rough-skinned hand rested on his shoulder. "Na need ta fear me," a gravelly, familiar voice offered. Gingerly, Tazuna raised his head to look straight in the black eyes of the Sanbi.

The demon was dressed more casually tonight, a simple blue and green yukata, almost blending into the blue of his skin. Those glassy black eyes were almost kid though as the Bijuu backed up a step, nodding to the human. "Ah knew it. As soon as Ah saw ya, I could see mah son's descendants in yea," he declared, head titled to the side. When Tazuna noticeably paled at this, the demon head up a hand. "Do nat fear, it is only a minimal about of mah bloodline within yea now. But It is enough for me ta see."

A gulp. "Is that why you came? You came to the bridge because I was there?" he ventured.

The Sanbi laughed,a sharp bark like a snapping branch, or bone. "Ah minor reason only. Just be glad my descendant, tha Ah was in the area. And tha it was only Gatou and his men who bled into the water tha day," he said, slipping backwards into the water, the waves lapping around his ankles. "And the one who attacked the men, has already returned to his lands."

"Wait!" Tazuna called as the Sanbi moved to leave. "What am I to tell the villagers? Many of them are scared that you'll attack us next!"

Flickers of flame blinked in and out in the darkness as the Sanbi strode over the water. "Yea are a part of mah territory, there is nothin' ta fear from me." Dark eyes glanced over for one last time. "Yea and year' people are mine, and I protect what's mine."


End file.
